What Is a Soft Era Anyway?

Everyone is talking about "Soft Girl Era" this and that, and has been for a while. As it starts to die down, I'm wondering, have the girlies really found their soft landing? Are they really living the life they manifested? What is "SOFT" to you? And most important, for me, is what "SOFT-Girl" is to me?

As a Black woman who is also a masc-presenting lesbian, the phrase soft girl era can be confusing to some, but at the end of the day, I am a girl, Damon! (Friday

reference for those who don't know. 😂😂). Now I'm not saying princess treatment, but treat me like a Queen 😂 lol. No, but seriously, I'm not expecting another woman to take care of me, pay all the bills, etc., but if she wants to, come on, let's do it. I would be a GREAT masc-housewife (that still works from home and does research, etc. Honestly, all BS aside, if you're interested, I'm taking applications. I clean, and I cook! 😂)

Okay, but no, for real this time, soft to me means that I am doing what I want to do, when I want to, and how I want to, and it has nothing to do with anyone else. When I first started thinking about my Soft Girl Era, I was leaving a 6-year relationship, manifesting the ability to call in what I wanted, new experiences, leveling up in my thinking, my doing, the places I was going, not having to work a regular office job on a clock-in schedule, and living within my means, yet still appreciating luxury. Health and wellness were also part of my ideals of softness, i.e., being more active, drinking smoothies, and eating greens, with such consistency that it would change my lifestyle and my ways, to the point where my body would crave health. I wanted to be so deeply rooted in my body that I would listen to those cravings.

When I think about it, I was already doing those things or putting them in place, so all along I have been living in my soft-girl era, but I wasn't in a soft environment that allowed my ideals of softness to thrive in it, or recognize it, and be consistent in it. Is that something you can relate to or have thought about? (The therapist in me is saying, "Let's sit with that").

A part of my journey was getting away from rigid environments and people, so my fluidity could expand and fill an environment that was conducive to me. It wasn't until then that I realized I could have a soft life filled with peace, and now, after a year and some change and dating around (YIKES), what is very loud to me now is that the things that I like to go do, the people I like to be around, what I eat, drink, listen to, and watch, do not interrupt that softness and that peace. And in the future, my partner/who I'm dating, won't be an interruption to that peace and that softness but an addition to it. In a nutshell, my softness is 100% about me, what's best for me, and what fits inside that bubble.

With that being said, I took the long route to get here, and that's okay. Some of us have to take the more scenic route, which can be a little harder. The experience of working harder is what makes working smarter easier. The resilience we gain from taking the route less traveled makes it easier to make smart decisions and be equipped to get the job done. Or in this case, get the Soft Life we manifested. Smart, Easy, Soft. They all come with experience. At the end of the day, soft to me is recognizing that no matter how I present, no matter the label society has for me, no matter the lines that are drawn in the sand, there are ZERO boundaries to what I want to do, where I want to go, how I want to go, and who the fvck I want to be. It's the same for you, too, if you think about it. For me, softness is about taking care of myself and loving every single inch of ME.

Cheers to us living a soft life! How are you doing it?